just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize