So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
