you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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