I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
