yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
