You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize