we have pet lesbian snakes
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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