Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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