I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
