To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
