So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
