By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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