Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
