then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
