we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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