i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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