Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
