90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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