You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
