I think I am morally bankrupt
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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