but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
