the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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