i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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