I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
