Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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