I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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