do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
True strength comes from lack of pants
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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