yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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