Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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