well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
