i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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