i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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