ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
