We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
