all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
