Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
