Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
