so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
