The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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