i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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