direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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