Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize