Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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