id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize