What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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