Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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