ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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