Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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