I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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