is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
