nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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