I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
