No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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