pedialite and red bull = repair kit
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
