judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i've created a new STD.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize