Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
