Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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