so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
