i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Small penises have feelings too.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
