Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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