There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
