awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
