Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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