Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
