you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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