so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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