fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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