Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
