Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
