That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
