She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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