its not stalking. its research.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
